[Pearls Ep 130: Friday follow-up.]
We’re looking at detachment in this week’s Pearls. Next week we’ll go deeper into the how and why of detachment. But it’s worth spending a little time on the what. We all have a general idea of what an attachment is, but we’ll hear from St. Thomas Aquinas, Fr. Garrigou-LaGrange and Bishop Fulton Sheen with a few extra pointers.
Let’s start with St. Thomas Aquinas – an attachment is anything that causes a response of anger or sorrow if taken away.
So, an attachment in and of itself isn’t bad. If we’re deprived of the Sacraments, it’s healthy to experience sorrow for their absence. Or anger, if they are wrongly withheld.
The problem is when we’re attached to anything other than God, or for the sake of God. And now we get to the jelly in the donut. For most of us, there is an entire over-sized U-Haul of things that we attach to – not for God’s sake, but for our own sake – because they give us physical pleasure, or security, or status, or any number of things that us fallen creatures, left to our own devices, desire in place of God (and instead of seeking our pleasure, security and status in Him…).
There are three broad categories of attachments: created goods (things and people), ourselves, and, spiritual goods.
- Created Goods – this is everything around us. The obvious suspects are food, money, alcohol, sports, etc. But this also includes people. Have you ever encountered parents who seem to anchor their entire self-worth in the success of their children? This is also why a marriage is meant to be between three persons – bride, groom and Holy Spirit. We are setting ourselves up for a long haul if we go into marriage looking to our spouse to make us completely happy. When we place God at the center of our marriage it’s a whole different reality.
- Ourself – we’re all created with remarkable gifts and talents. What are the ones we place too much emphasis on? The reverse is true, what are the things we wish were different, rather than just accepting ourselves, warts and all? Pride, ambition, the desire to please others, and on and on – endless are the ways we can go down the path of self.
- Supernatural – the classic example here is falling in love with consolations – desiring the gift more than the gift giver. Also, becoming overly enamored with gifts of the Spirit. And this is a big part of why God permits desolation – to break us of attachment to spiritual goodies.
Many of our attachment are obvious to us.
Others, not so much (the enemy likes it that way). Here are three ways to ferret out attachments:
- Rock solid advice from Fulton Sheen – “The quickest way to discover the predominant fault is to ask yourself, ‘What do I think about most when alone? Where do my thoughts go when I let them go spontaneously?’” Yes, he’s talking about our predominant fault (or “core wound”, or “root sin”) – but most of our attachment grow from the fetid soil of our predominant fault.
- In our modern age, we would humbly add an additional characteristic to Aquinas’ emotional responses of sorrow and anger – anxiety. What causes us anxiety? Christ tells us we should have no anxiety at all (and as the old joke goes, “easy for Him to say, what being God and all…”). But it’s true, if we have perfect faith and trust in God’s providence, we will be freed of most anxiety. About the only “healthy” type that would remain is concern for souls – and even that, we should ultimately entrust to God’s care. So, if we examine closely what causes us anxiety, we are likely to find at the root of it, something we need to let go of, and turn over to God.
- In the postscript we’ve copied a beautiful prayer by Fr. Garrigou-LaGrange to reveal attachments.
God wants us detached from things so that we’re attached to Him. It’s not a gloomy detachment. We actually love people and enjoy the world best when we’re attached to God and loving and enjoying (and also sacrifice and serving) the way He does.
Blessings on your journey with Christ –
Steve and Karen Smith
Postscript: Prayer for Detachment
My God, make me know the obstacles which I more or less consciously place to the working of grace in my soul. Show these obstacles to me at the moment when I am about to place them. Give me the strength to remove them, and, if I am negligent in doing so, do Thou deign to remove them, though I should suffer greatly. I wish only Thee, Lord, who alone art necessary. Grant that my life here on earth may be like eternal life begun.