[Pearls Ep 130: Monday motivation.]
In this week’s Pearls episode, we’re digging into detachment. As we noted, the purpose of life is union with God – we are meant to be completely attached to God – like branches to a vine. But we can’t attach to God if we’re also attached to ______ (insert your favorite attachments here…). And we looked at some practical ways to identify our attachments – those things that cause us sorrow, anger or anxiety if we are deprived of them.
Alas, to be human is to have attachments – they are as much a part of our fallen human nature as bad breath, or, the willingness to wear bell-bottoms. But we don’t want to be merely human. We want to transcend our humanity through Christ and say with St. Paul, “it is no longer I that live, but Christ within me.” In fact, if St. Paul were writing this blog, he very well might type, “it is no longer I and all my attachments that live, but Christ within me.”
In the final analysis, we kill off our attachments through mortification – literally dying to self. And to be sure, there’s plenty of good old-fashioned self-awareness and self-discipline that goes into casting our attachments off the bow. But it doesn’t have to be all discipline and sweat-of-the-brow. Here are some attachment-fighting tactics that might supplement what you’re already doing:
- Reframe it: this is sort of “aversion therapy” for attachments – remind yourself how the attachment weighs you down and holds you back – and how much better life will be after you detach from it.
- Say no to “micro-controls”: We make hundreds of little comfort adjustments each day. Almost every aspect of life can be fine-tuned to meet our desires. If we mentally walk through our day and start adding them up, we’ll soon lose count of it all. Give a few of them up. Let’s let the shower be not quite as hot as we prefer. Or use regular cream instead of french vanilla. Or turn off the car radio. Or, cringe, have a raised donut instead of the far-superior cake donut.
- Associate all good things with God: Whatever is good and pleasing, we should let our first thoughts turn to God. “Lord, thank you for hot showers.” “Lord, thank you for this food.” “Lord, thank you for lighter traffic today.” “Lord, thank you for this person in my life.” This way it’s no longer about us, but about a loving God that showers us with blessings. And as you probably know, the “pro” move is to do the same with suffering and trials – by thanking Jesus for the opportunity to join our sufferings to His cross.
- Rely more on God’s providence: rely less on having piles and piles of stuff “just in case,” and trust more that God will provide what is needed when it’s needed. Of course – we need to balance this with prudence – preparing and saving for a rainy day is virtuous (but saving to the point that we’re never a source of sunshine for others is vice).
- Rely more on God’s timing: for example, tie life’s little indulgences to the liturgical calendar – save the treats for Feast days and Saint’s memorial days, and on “ordinary days” go without.
- Focus on simple pleasures: “blessed are the poor in spirit,” and “the best things in life are free,” enough said.
- Enjoy indulgences in community: sometimes we can identify attachments by those things that we steal away for ourselves – raiding the fridge, binge-watching our favorite show, etc. Better, is to indulge in those things that we can share with others.
- Focus on gifts/talents: Attachments are just chintzy diversions or pleasures – cheap knock-offs of the ennobling uses of time that God desires fo us – especially through our gifts and talents. Let us find satisfaction in building up our gifts through hobbies and reading good books.
- Be generous: Speaking of gifts and talents – they provide a great alternative to attachments when we share them liberally. In our day of electronic-this and mass-produced-that, something personal and handmade – even a simple hand-written note – or just giving our time to be present with others, gives joy to the heart – and shows attachments to be the shabby substitutes they are.
Praying that the week ahead offers inspiration for new ways to mortify our attachments –
Steve and Karen Smith